"Suddenly" never happens

One of my major pet peeves is the use of "suddenly" in fiction. I consider it the immediate hallmark of lazy writing. The word is its own oxymoron, and its mere use actually delays the suddenness of whatever action was supposed to suddenly happen.

To wit:
"Suddenly the kettle whistled."
Oh, really? It actually whistled about half a second later than it would have if you had merely written "The kettle whistled." By inserting that unnecessary word, you've caused some poor chap to go without tea.

What's even more horrid is adding it after the event in question. "She fired the gun suddenly."

Now, I have let "suddenly" go once in a while, but I can't think of any use where it adds suspense, builds plot, furthers character, supports theme, or do anything but add to a lazy writer's word count.
"The sky was clear. SUDDENLY it rained!"
"The vampire lurked in the shadows. SUDDENLY it jumped out and bit her neck!"
"The writer had a block. SUDDENLY she typed a word."

I hate -ly adverbs, too, but don't get me started. What's your literary pet peeve? What's your defense of "suddenly"?

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A writing experience is posted at Straight From Hel

Heather Graham contributing

Bestselling novelist Heather Graham, who also writes as Shannon Drake, is contributing a cool piece on what it takes to be a writer. As a mother of five, she downplays excuses and encourages dedication and persistence.

New York Times and USA Today best selling author Heather Graham majored in theater arts at the University of South Florida. After a stint of several years in dinner theater, back-up vocals, and bartending, she stayed home after the birth of her third child and began to write, working on short horror stories and romances. Her first book was with Dell, and since then, she has written over one hundred novels and novellas including category, romantic suspense, historical romance, vampire fiction, time travel, occult and Christmas family fare. She wrote the launch books for the Dell's Ecstasy Supreme line, Silhouette's Shadows, and for Harlequin's mainstream fiction imprint, Mira Books.

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